The ZPG Carol

[ZPG = Zero Population Growth]

King Herod the Malthusian
Was cast into confusion
By rumors of a
Baby Bomb
Time-set in his vicinity -
Predicted with a great aplomb
By doctors of divinity.

On hearing this he turned quite
-It pleased him not at all.
It really, really raised his spleen
And made his spirit fall;
And courtiers standing by his throne
"I hear it ticking!" heard him groan.

But once the bile had reached his head,
He spoke aloud, and this he said:
I must be quite severe.
I think all babies should be dead,
To save the Ecosphere.
Not for myself I fear -
It is the Ecosphere.

All children warm the air,
I deeply, deeply care -
And this is what I'll do:

To stop this air pollution,
As experts all agree,
The only right solution
Is a stringent ZPG!
Prepare for execution -
I'll prune your family tree!

Such was the grim conclusion
Of Herod the Malthusian.

He did not win, although he tried.
The Baby lived. King Herod died.
The "Baby Bomb" exploded
With splendid overkill;
The Ecosphere eroded,
And is eroding still.

The human tree is growing:
Increase and Multiply!
Fill the earth to overflowing -
Then go and fill the sky!

The Bomb, it must have missed us,
In spite of great eclat:
So have a Merry Christmas
And a Happy Hanukkah!


Blinking Sign

Now you see it, now you don't -
Blinking sign in his lapel.
How he will, and how he won't
Serve his country - who can tell?


The Face in the Mirror

"No appeasement", - Bush declares
In a speech across the sea.
Cries Obama: "How he dares!
All such words refer to me!"

"No betrayal", - Bush declares, -
"Munich was a bad mistake."
"He means me!", - Obama blares, -
"This is more than I can take!"

Watch the darling of Hamas
Acting like a perfect ass.