2008-05-30

The ZPG Carol

[ZPG = Zero Population Growth]

King Herod the Malthusian
Was cast into confusion
By rumors of a
Baby Bomb
Time-set in his vicinity -
Predicted with a great aplomb
By doctors of divinity.

On hearing this he turned quite
Green
-It pleased him not at all.
It really, really raised his spleen
And made his spirit fall;
And courtiers standing by his throne
"I hear it ticking!" heard him groan.

But once the bile had reached his head,
He spoke aloud, and this he said:
"
I must be quite severe.
I think all babies should be dead,
To save the Ecosphere.
Not for myself I fear -
It is the Ecosphere.

All children warm the air,
Exhaling
CO2.
I deeply, deeply care -
And this is what I'll do:

To stop this air pollution,
As experts all agree,
The only right solution
Is a stringent ZPG!
Prepare for execution -
I'll prune your family tree!
"

Such was the grim conclusion
Of Herod the Malthusian.
........

He did not win, although he tried.
The Baby lived. King Herod died.
The "Baby Bomb" exploded
With splendid overkill;
The Ecosphere eroded,
And is eroding still.

The human tree is growing:
Increase and Multiply!
Fill the earth to overflowing -
Then go and fill the sky!

The Bomb, it must have missed us,
In spite of great eclat:
So have a Merry Christmas
And a Happy Hanukkah!

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